Kieron Gillen’s Workblog » SA Front page link

SA Front page link

Christ. Direct link from SA’s front page.

Er… moderating works like this: Everyone’s first post gets moderated as an anti-spam thing. God knows I get enough spam posting here. After that, you have posting rights. Any comment which isn’t written in l33t generally gets through.

I probably should put this on the front page.

So I did.

EDIT: And if your post doesn’t go up, it’s probably because I’m off doing something else. Relax. Your insults and/or analysis will turn up eventually.

117 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hah! OMG I came here from the SomethingAwful website and was just quickly scanning down the page when I saw that you had Christmas in STAFFORD!! I live there bwahaha. Sorry, just had to tell you that. And be the first post on a big list of flames (?) All the best. Lucy xoxo

So you understand the Pain of Stafford. I welcome you.

I believe most of the flames will be down the page on the other post, but - hey! - we can always be pleasantly surprised.

well at least you’re not bitter and indignant about it right

Coming from Stafford? Hell, yes.

Fun fact - bloggers are not instantly qualified as journalists. Especially when they start whining.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I know somethings Awful here
!!! yo suck keiron ron!

i’m sORyy i dont no anything aboout it jeeves i just want attenton because i’m so loney

I think it’s great that Kieron (more so Eurogamer) is finally getting the recognition he (they) deserve.

Keep up the good work!

I fucking hate uppity gamer-geeks.

Just shut up and enjoy your free advertisment. Jesus, you’re this close to becoming a blaze of emo.

You’re right, Kieron does need the free advertisement. His career was completely stalled until a humor site made a few jokes about him and he had the gall to write about it on his own site.

I like all of this. Two regular sites I read are talking about each other.

I did like their pinch for the Escapist, though. Its about time they got a smack.

Meh.
(Needed to get my comment in)

Man, Kieron, I’d almost entirely forgotten about you until, idly wandering around looking for info on the We

Bugger, I broke the form.

…the We [heart] Katamari soundtrack, I espied a link to an SA article and: bam, an “I know that name…” moment. I’m glad to see you’re still off-handedly causing a fracas.

(This is Alex — you met me through JN many moons ago, most likely in Bath [possibly at Moles]. Back when you still had PC Gamer business cards.)

This is why I hate the internet; it’s full of highly objectional shitwits who inevitably feel the need to unleash themselves at the kind of thing I like and they don’t. That they do it with only the most rudimentary grasp either of irony or the rules of decent badinage is what really grates. It means that these things I like are therefore tarnished by ten million cunts forcibly subjecting me to their meagre scrapings of inanity.

I can’t decide what is most insufferable about them: the kneejerk hostility, the complete lack of innovation or wit in their scathing ‘beatdowns’, or the fact that I am apparently being challenged by a crapulent redneck who has only just discovered sarcasm.

Just checking to see if this comment was filtered by a spam - I wrote an hysterical and not to mention trenchant commentary on the general array of human cuntery presumably emanating from SA, but it done got not put up.

Apparently, any sort of critique of a SA article results in “HAHA YOU DON’T GET IT IT’S COMEDY” and that’s about it.

That it’s actually comical is debatable, but you get my drift.

The thing I hate about internet sites interacting with each other is that they’re always perfectly friendly, till the moron users who are fans of one site or another take the slightest joke or the tiniest hint of non-equality and turn it into a damn internet war. I would like to remind both sides of this debate that this is the internet.

Hahahahaha you suck, cock-bag!

AHAHAHAHAHHHAAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAH.

Uh, yeah. So… you suck.

Alex: Awesome. I did wonder what happened to you. I’ll nose around your LJ later.

Menders: Everyone gets posting rights given manually and I was off cleaning the kitchen and doing other boyfriendly duties. You should be fine now.

My first post appeared immediately, which leads me to believe that Kieron is stalking me.

Expect the restraining order through the letterbox shortly.

You suck.

I don’t need the girl. I DON’T NEED THE GIRL!

Oh dear, they’re making fun of you over the internet! Stand your ground man, don’t let them do this to you!

Oops. Egg all over MY face. Next time I post, I’ll make a point of reading what you’ve actually written before pissing my opinions willy nilly, so to speak…

wait, this is your workblog? ie, you do this professionally? any number of jobs you coulda done in the world and THIS is the one which you said, “my expertise in this arena is superceded only by the worlds desperation for a hero of my caliber”? this is the one thing that you could do in life which would make you NOT a failure?

I would like to object about the person who said that “cunt” was an unimaginative insult. Apart from the clearly jesting tone of any post here using it, I would also like to say that it is the finest insult known to man.

You’re video game article really did suck though

Ah my internets!!! The goggles do nothing!

So, you’re one of the worst videogame journalists ever? Well, I read the article mentioned on SomethingAwful.com, and I have to say I can’t really disagree with any of its comments, aside from the (intentionally) ridiculous introduction. Everything else, however, aside from the erratic insults, was valid criticism that picks huge holes in most of the journalism you post. I’m just saying you really DO suck, even for an ameteur blogger, no matter how meany defencive arguments you put forward. Deal with it.

Ein Gremmi!

Anyway, I think it’s obvious to all by now that the trees in Darwinia are better than the trees in most other games. Possibly slightly more shiny and glowy than trees people are used to seeing, but that just goes to prove the utter inferiority of the average wood-based tree to their Darwinian counterparts.

In the wake of this revelation, I propose a new review-scoring system based entirely on the quality of the trees found in-game.
This system shall be referred to as “post-crate”.

You are a indian

It is hard to accept that, in 2006, we still acknowledge websites who’s primary function is to ‘moan’ (that’s ‘bitch’ to our US viewers) about other people/websites. I can’t think of any other entity in any other medium that’s so passe. Well done SA.

Frosty: Burn the the crate-creed Heretic.

KIERON! HELLO! ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE!

KIERON YOUR JUST A BIG STUPID HEAD!

Just because you can write in your stupid blog about videogames doesn’t mean you’re intelligent or even a journalist. Get a job at a magazine or even a half decent review site…

Lord knows Kieron doesn’t need anyone to defend him but two minutes of the most basic research would tell you that this blog is hardly the limit of his labours.

Wait, why am I even replying to someone named “PEN15″. Back to bed I go.

“Get a job at a magazine or even a half decent review site…”

He’s got a point, Gillen. Eurogamer is doing you no favours. Get back to writing proper reviews for proper mags.

The best thing SomethingAwful ever did was when they fell for the Toothing thing hook, line, and fucking sinker.

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2111

Well done, chaps! It’s almost like you’re not quite as clever as you think you are!

“Well done, chaps! It’s almost like you’re not quite as clever as you think you are!”

And that’s from the nation’s official number seven “celebrity” games journalist, so consider yourselves chided. The big guns are out now.

RR.

Haha, your game review sucked ass. Something Awful owned you bitch.

Why, I suddenly remembered your name on seeing the article on the front page of SA.

I haven’t read PC Gamer in a few years now, but I seem to remember reading some article in it, where a photograph of you was doctored with a beard and hat. A claim was made that you were a white witch and cured dropsy.

And I see listed in the “blogochums” column, other people who wrote for it.

What a strange thing indeed.

Please get off the web. your page makes my eyes bleed/

Gnoll: Yes, I was on staff for Gamer for Five years before wandering off to do the full time freelancer thing. Pick up any issue from that period and the odds are you’ll see something embarassing happening to a photo of me.

I will say this - if monograming your comments when your name is listed at the bottom anyway isn’t pretentious, I don’t know what is.

Rory: It’s kind of an odd hangover from letter writing. Had it hammered into me so hard when I was a kid, I never quite got over it. Probably should make the effort.

I’m an SA fan. I didn’t read the famous article about you, nor have I read anything that you’ve written (except for your blog). My question is: why are you and esp. your fans bothered by their comedic critisism? Their whole purpose is to get peoples’ panties in a bunch. You’re cute, and I’m sure you’re a great writer…so fuck those guys.

good luck

Aimless: Thanks Aimless. Seriously though - I’m actually cool about the SA article. My reply to their article was meant to be jokey.

Haha. Jesting aside, I really do like the magazine. More than that, I like how one simple review can amass an amazing amount of weird comments in such a short time span.

Keep up the good work.

Well it’s good to see you taking the SA article well. I think it’s quite funny actually that all these asshats are coming out just to make fun of you. Seems like a waste of time to me.

I read SA on a daily basis, and am struck by how many people think that the writers are dead serious about what they are writing. The resultant fan-flames towards the subject that was mocked astound me. I’m not sure what I was trying to say here, except that I am adding this site to my bookmarks.

Keep up the good reviews.I really like them alot.Oops!I thought I was at Roger Eberts Movie Reviews Blog!That guy gets paid alot to review movies and no one says he sucks or is too wordy.You don`t actually get paid to review video games do you?

Ha! You look like a little emo bitch! Been listening to Green Day and The Used lately you latent faggot? Have fun moderating this post, not posting it, then crying to a gallon bucket of chocolate icecream while jerking off to Taking Back Sunday’s latest album. I bet you get your dick sucked by men!

Get a real job, no one fucking cares what you think about a video game you pretentious cunt. YOU ARE THE CAT’S PAW OF THE GAMING INDUSTRY, BITCH!

I MAKE FUN OF YOU OVER INTERNET!

OWNED!

About the only thing worth a mild laugh on SA these days is the Flash Tub, everything else is repetitive tedium. Plus I find it best if one ignores half of what they say and then takes up a position in complete antithesis. At least Gillen’s reviews and so on are usually a wry read rather than the typically tedious method of reviewing details on graphics, gameplay, blah blah. Still, reviews on the whole are rather pointless as really what matters is the opinion of one person, yourself. Fuck the masses, and other cliches.

Hans is calling. I’ll be back later.

What up, dawg? Don’t let those pompous SA fools hastle you, stand up for your writing!
Hit them with lawyers if they don’t leave you alone, I certainly did when they unrightfully lambasted my masterpiece and let me tell you, it scared them right out of their wellingtons!
Anyway I hope you’re still up for tea on Friday.

Derek Smart Ph.D
Designer/Lead Developer/Military Advisor
Universal Combat - A World Apart.
Challenge Anything.

Hey, I wish they’d put me on the front page of somethingawful.com! But I guess they don’t read swedish too well…

Boy, this website sure is something awful.

I like to fuck. No really, I do. Just wanted to share that with you.

The Cassandra Project mentioned a shitty-hatted electroclash DJ that I DON’T LIKE. You suck, Gillen.

Kieron, you know when you write good and when you write shit; which makes you a good writer in my eyes. Although I really do think that the worst videogame writing came from IGN, whose standards have actually, god forbid, slipped. Jessica Chobot aside, of course. *ahem*

I actually happen to be one of the three people who *really* enjoys reading Tim Rogers’s insane whirlpools. He was like the Justin Hall than ran away from home.

Your blog and your life are an embarrassment. You and your emo enterage would get more and better attention if you publicly announced that you were committing suicide on a given date. The big words you use are wasted on you so-called “fans” and would best be used in your defense against the cops when you finally get caught penetrating your sister’s kid’s anus.

Vivian: Miss Kittin, wasn’t it? Man, I’m sorry. If only DJ Scotch Egg was around.

It’s funny how people who insult you actually think that you’ll give a shit about it, sleepless nights and all.

I have a feeling that the writer of that SA article probably actually likes some of your work. He certainly did display an intimate knowledge of Tim Rogers’ writing, better even than mine (I am a confirmed fan, for shame). It strikes me as odd that someone would profess to hate both pretentious reviews AND propaganda-type websites such as the GamePro site. Surely games journalism is an either/or thing these days?

I don’t really know what’s going on here but I think I’m supposed to make fun of you because that’s what one of the SA writers did so if I want to be cool I better start giving a shit about the quality of your reviews or something.

But I’m not going to.

These insults are all ironic, right?

How I blog?

“These insults are all ironic, right?”

it’s hard to tell these days, innit?

there are legions of defensive nerds who are honestly upset at the use of “big words” - or in mr. rogers’ case, tremendously long articles of a, ahem, meandering nature.

it would seem a petty thing to be upset about, but as a few folks have pointed out, this is indeed the internet. over at tgq we had one critic who was positively apoplectic that we use a pdf format; it turned out, tragically, this his parents had been murdered by an adobe software engineer years before, and he never quite recovered from the trauma.

Excellent, another bandwagon upon which to leap … wait for meeeeee …

I’m a fan and regular reader of your stuff at EG, and I really love the whole NGJ stuff, but I feel it is fair to say that it wasn’t the least pretentious article ever written.

Nonetheless, it kept me entertained, and made me me want to at least try the game. And, as someone who has penned the odd paragraph of pretentious drivel in his time, I’d rather read something well-constructed, confident and slightly up it’s own arse than a) the droning masses at IGN, Gamespot etc. or b) the (no doubt truly lovely) people at Something Awful.

Troutio: I don’t think even I’m stupid enough to claim it wasn’t an incy-wincy bit high-faluting.

Oh if only JeffK got his hands on Cassandra, ZING’O'RAMA!

Ah Cassandra, my favourite FPS that was never finished. I still mourn thee.

The only funny part of Something Awful is the legal threats page and “Your Band Sucks” page. Though even that is marred by the incredibly tiresome reverse snobbery about “trust fund kids” and “pretentious college boys” that blights the whole fucking page.

So any criticism of Kieron’s writing should probably be viewed through that lense…

Still, that tedious git Zack did stumble across a few trenchant criticisms of Kieron’s review. The Darwinia isn’t that good and the hype around it is very Emperor’s New Cloths.

I’ve noticed that there was only one comment that defended your Darwinia review, and that person decided to mention how they loved the fact that you didn’t mention graphics or gameplay in your rambling review. I hope your fans can get off various high horses long enough to worship your review, otherwise the SA goons would have truely won. God forbid that. Also, to the nice guy who translated moan to Amerimoron, the Marshall Plan owns you, moan.

Keep seeing humor as humor KG.

You’re not egotistical enough to surpass me or anyone from SA, sorry

Alert: totally not ironic or sarcastic comment.

Your review actually piqued my interest when I first read it on EG, so I did download and play the Darwinia demo. I like your writing.

I’d already bought Darwinia by the time I’d seen it reviewed anywhere…

Finally got round to playing the damn game. All gushing justified. All criticism of same hereby denounced as the witterings of fools.

PS, KG: I wouldn’t have dreamt you were.

I bought Darwinia after reading the review, and then liked it.

Does that make me a bad man?.

Noodle: I believe it makes you some kind of Communist.

My dog really likes belly rubs.

posting for the third time, again :

wait what?

This site bores me. You bore me. Insults bore me. God bores me. SA’s dog bores me. It all bores me. I think I’ll make a sandwich now.

If we take the Internet as a public space then I’d like to say that this section of it is the most infuriating I have ever come across. Your review of Darwinia wasn’t a review but more of a cockpiece about you. Your writing style suffocates in tentacles of self-congratulatory semen and those who fawn around you are more impressed with the way you put words together rather than any actual meaning. I therefore ask you to stop this blog and stop writing. Now. If you’re a biologist (which you’re not – you simply went on a biology degree course – have a fucking cookie) then go and study fucking biology. By your own ego anyone who studied degree level geography is a geographer, those who pissed away 3 years understanding sports science and field management are not sports science and field managers. No. They. Are. Not. They’re checkout girls and data processors and park attendants and insurance cold callers. But I digress. Seriously, those who congratulate you are idiots. You are an idiot. I’ve watched this site for a while now much in the same way I’d re-examine a crushed hedgehog texturing my street with its vitals. Similarly you’re getting worse. You’re comic ideas are hackneyed tripe. “Hit” features easily the worst cover of any comic ever created and your music taste is execrable.

And why do you sign of “KG” when each post has your name on it anyway? Spend a lot of time masturbating your name, much?

I’m sure you are a nice person but by your writing I hate you much as I’m sure Hitler hated communists. You made a blog. You think you have something to shout to the world or you’d simply email your rapedog friends with updates about your fey thoughts.

Do that and leave the internet for pornographers, child molesters and people who want to by a 512mb stick for a reasonable price. You’ll feel better and you won’t have to face your deathbed knowing that you spend your life professing how much of a wanker you are to people too simple to understand.

Post-genre – pre-genre? WTF? Space Invades is a shoot ‘em-up. As is Space War. And Asteroids. Breakout and Arkanoid are Breakout clones. Either you’re too smart for the subject matter or the subject matter is too small. Either way – move on. You’ve said far too much already.

Go be a biologist.

Hey Pete, you sound like a fun time.

Yeah, and here I was wanting to be your best friend. I especially like the bit where you compare yourself to Hitler.

I was wondering why the comments on my site have been quiet. You’ve stolen all my trolls Gillen, you heartless bastard.

RR.

No, I compared my hatred to that of Hitler’s. I didn’t compare myself to Hitler.There are a few typos up there, but that was just poor comprehension on your part.

For a start I’m not Austrian.

Maybe if I compared to myself to Hitler in a differnt place I’d be a different person?

Anyway, just calm it. Judge a person by what they write and you’ll probably be dead wrong. Is that what pretentious means? You know, sounding like something you’re not on purpose?

Hmmn. Ironic?

No. Just calm it and you’ll be fine.

Hey Gillen! You just got pwned!

Hehe, ‘Peter File’. Sounds a bit like ‘Mumless Cunt’!

“No, I compared my hatred to that of Hitler’s.”

My, you’re a bundle of laughs aren’t you Petie-baby?

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Though, I would just like to take the opportunity to point out the rich irony of an internet knobber who is clearly struggling with even the basic concepts of syntax and grammar criticising someone else’s writing.

What do syntax and grammar have to do with being a prententious prick?

Peter File is not criticising Gillen’s grasp of the English language, but rather the way in which he uses it: i.e. like a prententious prick.

Oh, and before anyone comments: yes I mispelled pretentious, twice.

Although, that merely highlights how un-pretentious I am.

Yes, it is ironic. Glad you caught up on that one. You’ve probably worked out that Hitler’s hatred of communists was also based on him being quite irrational. You must have an A-level in quickfire wit.

Anyway, well done for the syntax point. I, sir, bow to your superior steel.

Is this where the clever people hang out then? I’d edit this one and spatchcock the word “meta” in there somewhere because it would make people realise that I haven’t read this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0007140975/qid=1136395926/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/026-1495767-2087655

Prigs.

Can we have a few more swearwords, please? I don’t think any of you are angry enough over all this.

Peter, dear boy, you are the one talking in mumbo-jumbo. My point was more that I couldn’t really make out what you were saying amidst all your tortuous verbiage.

Peter File sounds a lot like Pedophile! Ha!

No need for swearing that much. “Prig” is the perfect word and, he, he, it sounds a bit like “prick”. It’s not a word you’ll see in many post-modernism for wankers books though. This makes me think of a pointless quote from someone totally unrelated:

““Children say that people are hung sometimes for speaking the truth.” Joan D’Arc.

“Peter File sounds a lot like Pedophile! Ha!”

OH SHIT I TOTALLY DIDN’T SEE THA

awww, poor Peter.
I feel quite sorry for the likes of you.
Never mind, hey?

Wow, someone gathered up all the morons on the internet and said “i’ll give you $5 if you go to kierongillen.com and post some retarded flame on there”.

Cool.

also, i might note that even tho i’ve never been a big fan of sa (actually, they sit in the same recycle bin as maddox: 1 in 10 things they say are actually clever so the signal to noise ratio is a bit too low for me to frequent their haunts) it really is funny to point out that, for a raging rant on game reviews — for a giant, “now even better”, multi-page, me too, end of year list: 2 of the reviews (the top two, no less) he’s banging on are actually from last year?

what kind of fucking irony is that? zack, your list makes my “top 5 worst end of years lists” end of year list.

m3mnoch.

“As you are probably aware there are many, many, many odd people out there on internets. Most of these are just plain stupid and being led along an idiotic path of what can only be described as “Mmmnnnnnnnggghh!!!” by their fellow morons on various internet chatrooms and forums devoted to their chosen distraction from the realities of life.”

@ JAMES DE VILE: you need to learn the difference between ‘flaming’ and ‘trolling’.

James, if this site has been hit by all the retards gathered in one spot, I must be living within two blocks of every retard in the world. Christ, I wish I could read all the posts the world’s retards could produce before they could produce more retards, it would be a serious improvement.

P.S. I know the name is a bit pretentious (to use this thread’s favorite word), but it is an old habit with an actual story behind it and at 3 AM I am not really willing to chance making up a worse name for this post. Also, I stand firmly in the moderate camp and laugh at anyone who can get too riled up over this.

JS: Flaming is being a prick because you may actually mean it while Trolling is being a prick because… well, you are?

That’s about right.

We achieve congress.

okay, again; my comment this time got followed by hitler, so i’ll forgive you if you forgot to reply. the question was

wait what?

and it was re: a comment about 300,000 words and princess pooble. i honestly don’t know who princess pooble is. have i fucked her?

please let me know, and if she’s your sister, i’m sorry; if it’s any consolation, i honestly don’t remember what she looks like.

Ah - sorry, Tim. Didn’t get what you meant,as was being thick.

Princess Pooble Racing is just a made up game title. I just like how it sounds. Just a joke. It’s okay if you’ve fucked her.

I’m not a games journalist, but you can’t praise a game as wonderful as Darwinia by avoiding to talk about it.

By reading your very interesting review, I learned nothing much about game mechanisms and gameplay.

Nice writing though, keep it up, it’s interesting.

Lol, in your position, I’d feel quite glad of what has been accomplished in these comments.
For those who are too stupid to take the SA article as light-heartedly as it was meant, we can all be glad that at least they aren’t watching Pat Robertson and heading out to do his bidding/genuine evil instead.
For those that are here to jovially flame and troll you, you can be glad that your blog is acting as writing practise for them. There’s a massive gulf between the high quality of what actually ends up on the SA site, and the what its imitators have tried to achieve here, but it’s nice to think that you are giving these guys some kind of purpose in letting them try and drag themselves out of the pit of mediocrity.

Oh and FWIW, I thought what you said about ‘post-genre’ was worth saying, given how much of a straight-jacket most genres have become (I haven’t played Darwinia, so I can’t comment, but the sorry state of the FPS is certainly a good argument for abandoning ‘genre’ as a concept). But I think it would be foolish to get into that discussion this far into these comments.

Ha! American might wins again!

In your face KG - my review style gets me hot chicks while I wank into Hideo’s face using a blow up doll of myself. I am the best, most rocking person in video games today! Tru fax for life mo fos!

Do you like Princess Pooble racing though?

Nothing but love, Tim.

amazon.co.uk…

amazon.co.uk photo Source:amazon.co.uk
……

amazon.co.uk…

amazon.co.uk photo Source:amazon.co.uk
……

money machine search engine script build for ppc…

In essence, we\’ve started a new series because if the first six work we\’ll publish more. The series was named My Penguin by our rather marvellous Creative Director, who came up with the name after about two minutes. The tag line is \’Books by t…

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>

SA Front page link

Sections

Categories

Archives

Search

Associates

Blogochums

Lazarii